Dealing with Infidelity - Should I Save This Relationship?Dealing with infidelity is very difficult. You have a lot to contemplate before making a decision about the future of your relationship with your cheating partner. In Discovering the Affair, I discussed methods of catching your spouses infidelity. Now that you know about the affair, I would like to focus on what to do now that there is no denying it on the part of your partner. There are several reasons people have an extramarital affair. Some people have an affair to use their power and social status to get people to do what they want. These are generally successful businessmen and celebrities who seduce women to feel powerful. These people do not generally feel remorseful as they believe that they are entitled to have extramarital relations with whomever they choose. If you are married to one of these types, dealing with the infidelity is more difficult. Please be careful and seek couples counseling right away. If they continue cheating, then you need to decide if it is worth it to remain in a relationship with them. Each time your spouse has sexual relations with a new person and then has sex with you your chances of contracting HIV, Hepatitis, or STD’s increases. Your life and health are far more important than your loyalty to your partner. Other people have an extramarital affair because they feel that they are not getting the emotional and physical connection with you they need. These people can become loyal partners once the interpersonal problems between the two of you are addressed. You have two choices now that the truth is known. You can stay and try to work things out, assuming that you partner wants the same. Or, you can leave. Before discovering my husbands infidelity, I knew in my heart that I would definitely leave if I was ever cheated on. I figured that I could never trust him again and that he would just repeat the behavior time and again. I did a lot of soul searching in dealing with infidelity in my own relationship. I found out that I still desperately loved him and that I still wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Had I not still loved him or had we only been dating and had no children together, I probably would have left. So, you have a big decision to make if it hasn’t already been made for you by your partner. Please don’t make this decision rashly. We all do things we regret when we are angry and hurt. Take some time to decide what you want before confronting your spouse's infidelity. Marriages can and do survive infidelity and, in fact, can grow stronger. I have grown personally from my experience and am a much better person, parent, and partner. My relationship with my husband is better now than it has been in years, and it will continue to get better as we learn to trust each other again and don't take our relationship for granted any longer. Dealing with infidelity may be one of the most stressful ordeals you will go through in your life. You will make it through, and, hopefully, will emerge as a much stronger person. You will have good days and bad. Be honest with yourself and your desires and you won't go wrong.
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