Discovering the Affair. How I found out about my husband's affair!Discovering the affair between your partner and another is not always easy. I was told by my mother-in-law that my husband had left me to be with another woman. He had told me that he needed some time away to work on some personal issues and that we could get back together in six months. I was the last to know that he left me for someone else. I should have suspected that something was up when out of the blue he told me that he wanted to leave. I guess I was so distraught at him leaving that the thought did not enter my mind. I could hardly eat or sleep and I could not think straight. It took all my effort to care for our three children. I absolutely did not see it coming. Three weeks after he told me he wanted to leave, he moved in with his mother. At this point, she and I were oblivious as to the real reason for his leaving. Two weeks later, I received a phone call from a mutual friend and found out the truth. This friend asked how things were between my husband and I. I wasn't that close to her, so I lied and said "fine". She then told me that my mother-in-law called her and told her that he was having an affair with a co-worker and requested that I call her right away. I was still recovering from the shock of my husband leaving when I was dealt this terrible blow. I started thinking about things on the way to my mother-in-law's home, and everything finally started to make sense. The two months before he left, he would come home late from work and state that work was "very busy" or that he had to "run errands" after work. Any chance to get out of the house in the evenings, he would take. He would sleep on the sofa and claim that he was up late watching TV and just "fell asleep". He would spend lots of time on the computer and I would notice that frequently the browser "history" would be cleared. Sometimes, I would notice that the computer browser was set to "private browsing" so that I could not tell which sites he had visited. He had stopped saying "I love you" a long time before he left. He was easily irritated by me and the children. He had no patience for any of us. He would come home from work and just plop down on the sofa and would hardly interact with us. Anything I did, he put a negative spin on. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. I guess he was making things at home unbearable so that leaving would be easier for him and justifiable in his mind. I needed to confirm my mother-in-laws accusation as she has made wild claims in the past regarding other issues. I was pretty certain that she was telling the truth on this occasion, however, as it all made sense. Hopefully, you will find some great ideas on this website to catch your spouse in the act and finally begin the healing process.
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