Infidelity Trauma - Infidelity can have a profound psychological and physical impact.Infidelity trauma can have a profound impact on your mental and physical health. This stress can severely disrupt your life and needs to be identified early and dealt with effectively. When I found out that my husband was cheating on me, I was devastated. I gathered evidence on his affair for two weeks. I became obsessed by it. At the time, I was not working and I spent every minute that I was not with my children tracking down the whereabouts of my husband. I would take the GPS coordinates from the previous day and plug them into Map Quest and see where he was the previous day. If he stopped somewhere and I did not know what was there, I would take a drive and see where he went. Most of the time it was a gas station or store. Sometimes, it was a nice restaurant in town. I was constantly searching the internet and Amazon for books to help me understand what had happened and to help me deal with my pain. I was angry and hurt and sad and hopeless all at the same time. What was even worse was that I had to hide my pain from him. I could not let him know that I was onto his affair. I beat myself up for all the mistakes that I had made in our relationship, and I took all the blame for the failure of our marriage. I had many physical signs of infidelity trauma. I could not eat. I was nauseous and anxious most of the time. I lost 25 pounds in 2 months and was able to wear size 8 clothes for the first time since my kids were born. One time I took in a mere 750 calories for an entire week. I was dizzy and tired from lack of nutrition. If I got up suddenly, I would nearly blackout. I had to force myself to drink three protein shakes a day for a measly 750 calories a day. I was searching for anything to make me feel better. I tried to read some relationship books and found them too depressing and felt that they made things worse. I starting seeing a psychologist and found that speaking to someone else really helped. I started to take anti-anxiety medications to help me overcome my severe anxiety and anti-depressants to help with my profound sadness. Once I confronted him with his infidelity, I felt better that it was finally out in the open and I could start to deal with it. I fought his leaving and refused to give up on him. I sought to change everything about myself so that he would desire me again. I changed my hairstyle, whitened my teeth, started wearing makeup again, bought new clothes, and started working on my own perceived personality problems. I wasn’t fooling him either. Every time I made a change to myself, he knew it was a ploy to get him back. I pressured him to return each time I saw him. I would try to hug and kiss him. The more I pushed him to return, the more he resisted and the more he and she bonded together. She told me that I had my chance with him and that I "blew" it. He was choosing to be with her now and she would not leave. By pushing him, I lost any power that I had in the relationship and handed it all over to him. I looked weak, pathetic, and helpless. Infidelity trauma and the end of a relationship can have profound psychological impact on the one cheated on or left behind. In coping with infidelity, I’ll discuss ways to heal the psychological wounds and deal with the physical manifestations of severe stress. Anger and vengeance are common responses to infidelity trauma. Both can have a detrimental affect on you, so please work on taking care of yourself and that will be the best revenge you can get against your partner.
|
