Suspected infidelity is generally confirmed with a little investigation.Most instances of suspected infidelity are true. Studies say that 85% of the spouses suspected of cheating are guilty. So, if you think your spouse is cheating on you, statistically speaking you are probably correct. So, how do you find out if they are? The first thing to do to confirm infidelity would be to go through the suspected person's personal belongings. Are there any unusual credit card charges? Any change in their personal hygiene routine or a new hairstyle? Is he or she secretive with the cell phone? Is he/she taking personal phone calls in other rooms? Are there any personal items in the luggage that does not belong to you? Is your spouse on a diet or dressing differently? Spouses who are having an affair generally give some clues. Remember, your spouse is trying to impress the new person in their life and will behave accordingly. My spouse left me for his mistress over a year ago. Before he left, he would come home late and have lots of excuses as to why. I hadn't suspected infidelity at the time until I was finally told by his mother. I only had her word that he was an adulterer and could not approach him with my suspicions. He was a very convincing liar and could make you feel guilty for even thinking such a thing. I knew that I had to have undeniable evidence before confronting him with his affair. One day, I met with my mother-in-law at the home she shared with him and I searched his room while he was at work. He had gone to San Francisco several weeks before and told me that he went alone to think about things. In his overnight bag, was a pen from the hotel he stayed at. Upon returning home, I checked the hotel on the internet and found that it was a four star place and was much more expensive than he would have paid for himself. His affair was looking plausible but how could I prove it? I wanted to know who his mistress was and when and where they met. Immediately, I hired a private investigator, placed a GPS device in his car, and started to go through his cell phone, credit card, and bank accounts. I was rewarded the first weekend by uncovering the cell phone number of his mistress, learning that they were in touch before he told me that he wanted to leave, finding out that they went to SF together, discovering that they went to the movies when he was supposed to be working, and finding out that they met at California Adventure for the weekend. His suspected infidelity was now confirmed, but there was still a lot of loose ends that I needed to tie up before confronting him. I needed to know who she was and where she lived. At this point, I didn't know if she was a local girl or if she was a Southern California girl that he met on the internet. I was hoping that she was not local as it would be difficult for him to keep up the long distance relationship. It was difficult to find out where she lived as they never spent time at her house. Apparently, she lived with someone from church and she did not want to disturb her. It took nearly two weeks before I was able to catch him at her house. He went there just to pick her up for the evening. But, even then I was not able to figure out her name as she was not related to the homeowner. I needed to find another way to find out her identity and answer my questions. So, one day while the kids were at school, I searched his car in the parking lot at his work. I found all kinds of goodies in there. I finally found out her name as he and she would send text messages back and forth and he would not erase a single one. I wrote down all the messages and the dates and times each was sent so that I could put together a time line of when their adulterous affair started and our relationship ended. In his car, I found Spanish music CD's that he never used to listen to, a bottle of Viagra that he never needed when he was with me, and some makeup of hers under the front passenger seat. I also found the new cell phone that she had given him and signed up under her plan. Now, I had enough information to confront him with his infidelity. And, when I did he could not deny any of it. In fact, he was astonished at how much I knew. He was a little bit angry at me for placing the GPS and searching his car, but definitely surprised at how I could uncover so much with so little help. His affair with her is over now and he and I have reconciled, but I still keep an eye on things. For instance, I searched his email several months ago and found out that he had another cell phone that I did not know about. I suspected infidelity to be ongoing. I searched his car and motorcycle and did not find it. So, I went to our other house that was vacant and searched through his dresser drawers. To my amazement, I found it and the old one his ex-lover had given to him. The one that his ex gave him has been turned off for more than six months. He purchased the new phone shortly before they broke up and he moved back home. In searching his new phone, I came across old very sexually explicit video and picture messages from her. I, of course, deleted them all and broke the phone so that it looked as if it just "shorted out". I suspected infidelity and was proved wrong this time! All messages stopped once he moved home. I continue to search his phone when he is not looking for anything unusual and watch his cell phone, credit card, and bank statements as they come in. He does not know that I do this. I also have spy software on our computer so that I can "see" everything that he does on it. For instance, I know that he has a folder hidden on the computer that has porno on it. I know that he sometimes watches snippets of these videos while I am watching TV ten feet away from him in the family room. But, he doesn't know that I know. I even know what I am getting for Christmas this year. He must feel really guilty because he has researched the gift for weeks. For now, I am going to keep my secrets secret so that if I ever need to seriously spy on him then I can do so without him being the wiser. As you can see, suspected infidelity can be confirmed with a little bit of snooping. If you have the means, a private investigator is a great way to go if you don't have the time or the desire to do all the leg work. For me, I preferred doing the bulk of the work. Plus, I couldn't afford to pay an investigator to spy on him every evening.
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